As the title says, I cannot fathom why I sabotage my weight loss efforts on a daily basis. I go out to buy cookies, cheese dip, hot chocolate, and candy on a regular basis. I tell myself every night at midnight that tomorrow is the day for weight loss. But tomorrow comes, I get a little hungry and find something unhealthy to shove in my gullet.
I believe that I eat for the sensations that accompany fatty, salty, and sugary foods. It gives me a temporary high. I want to savor the flavor as much as possible so I overeat to the point where I am very uncomfortable. Take today for instance. For breakfast I had 2 eggs scrambled with 1 sausage patty crumbled up inside. I added a little cheese to the top of this concoction. For lunch I had 2 polish sausage sandwiches and a jalapeno sausage sandwich covered in shredded cheese. Later on around 4pm I had almost an entire bag of chewy candies, and 1 package grandma vanilla cream cookies. For dinner I ate 6 spicy picante burritos from El Monterey. For a snack shortly after I had almost an entire pan of cheese dip with chips.
Tonight I stopped eating just before I felt terribly uncomfortable. I still have a little discomfort an hour later. After brushing my teeth, flossing, and taking my vitamins I once again contemplate my weight loss goals. I really want to lose weight again but I keep sabotaging myself with comfort foods. I know I don’t need them, but it’s like a drug. Something in them keeps calling me back to them. Whether it be the sugar, salt, or a combination of all 3 I’m not sure. What I do know is that a food addiction is one of the hardest addictions to treat. While you can give up alcohol if your a drunk, you can give up cigarettes if you’re a smoker, and can give up drugs if you’re a heroin addict. Food addiction is something that you have to address every day. Because you need food in order to survive. You can quit cold turkey on all the addictions and keep them out of the house. But if you do that with food you’ll eventually die.
So I need to find the will power within myself to say no to unhealthy foods every single day for the rest of my life. After doing it for a while it does get easier. But if you’re weak even for a minute you’ll find yourself binging.